E-mail this article
Printer-friendly version
Return to Grief Library

: I Felt A Physical Indescribable Pain

Continued

Last, take it from one who lost a parent, no one did me any favors by pretending to be strong. Instead, I missed out on being able to cry with anyone, to honor my father's memory, and to know others were hurting also. You do not have to pretend for your niece; just be real. She's lost as much as you have. Grief is grief and each person's journey with it is individual. But it is still a journey and one not to be avoided; otherwise, you never heal and you can't help anyone else.

It may be time to find a grief counselor or pastor to talk to about this. You need a safe place to be allowed to do your grieving. But please don't feel you have to be so strong that you don't show your feelings. Take it from one who has lived through this--all it does is delay the process. Grieving is a way of honoring the life of someone you loved. One possible suggestion would be to get out pictures from the past of your sister and let yourself remember her. If your niece wishes, you can do this together, as a recognition that it's been a year. Let yourselves cry together in love and honor of who this family was to you.

And please come visit our chat room for those grieving or our message board. You'll find you aren't alone. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. And notice I said "your loss" because it is that too.

Blessings

Deb

Debbie Sims is a Certified Clinical Nurse Specialist in Adult Psychiatric Nursing, has a Masters degree in Clinical Psychology, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She maintains a private practice in counseling but her devotion is to her position as Editor for Beyond Indigo an Internet web site for those who are grieving.